Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize