hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
