okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
