I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
