Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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