Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
