Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
