She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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