Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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