Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
