he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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