Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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