And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
