Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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