I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
