me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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