Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
