69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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