how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize