Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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