I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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