I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
