I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
