I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize