how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
