Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
