look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Everyone says I win the strip club
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize