ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
