I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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