so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
