Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i drank out of a bidet.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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