I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
