im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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