Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
