glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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