we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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