things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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