she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
