She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
