i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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