escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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