Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
