Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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