she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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