I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
