And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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