i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
