Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
