I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
