I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wish you could order shots online.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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