How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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