thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
wow bdsm is so cute
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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