I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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