my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
