To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
