question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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