that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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