Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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