I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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