I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
