Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
