and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
