I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
