i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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