Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
