I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I will die if light touches me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
