I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
