if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
