theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
These tits shall not be calmed
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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