i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
