not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
